Anxiety/Depression

“I can’t see the things that make true happiness, I must be blind

Make a joke and I will sigh and you will laugh and I will cry

Happiness I cannot feel and love to me is so unreal”

– Black Sabbath

What is anxiety?

Anxiety is often a liar. It tells us things about ourselves and about others that aren’t true. It paralyzes us and can rob us of our hope. To complicate matters, it has many co-conspirators, including guilt, doubt, criticism, perfectionism, confusion, overwhelm, stress, and fear.

Anxiety can be an ally, until it takes the reigns, driving us out of control. For example, anxiety might pop up before an important meeting to remind us to prepare; it could appear as a motivator for pursuing a goal. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always notice that we have already prepared and it persists… Anxiety might want us to succeed, but it tricks us into believing that without it, we won’t.

Before it becomes poisonous, anxiety can be a reminder of things that we value and direct our attention to things we care about. It is the “check engine light” of our thoughts, feelings and relationships. Once anxiety is heard, it tends to quiet down and loosen its grip. So by listening closely we can learn to hear its messages as reminders. We become more attuned to cues and take actions that support hope.

What is depression?

Depression naturally accompanies anxiety. Anxiety invites endless questioning, robbing us of relaxation and enjoyment of activities. Anxiety enlists depression as a barrier between us and the richness of life, leaving us feeling a void—longing for connection.

Depression is a very big word, and it can mean a lot of different things. It might be the blues, it could be paralysis, maybe it’s overwhelming sadness; it could even look like anger or just a vast emptiness. Sometimes it introduces suicidality into our lives. It can frighten us and alarm our loved ones.

Depression is sticky, miserable, and sucks the joy out of life. There is a grief process that we go through as we wind our way out of it. It can be like emerging from a tar pit, still weighed down by its residue.

How can I help?

I was raised in the tradition of anxiety. I have been steeped in it as a person and a clinician. My close relationship with anxiety has given me some insights and wisdom about anxiety’s ways and means. Because of this, I am comfortable confronting it, and I know what questions to ask to reveal its tricks.

As we can expose anxiety’s lies, we can separate it from its co-conspirators. Without the fear, confusion, etc. in its corner, anxiety’s influence decreases. We can also find ways to recruit anxiety as an ally, transforming its influence to whatever we want it to be.

TESTIMONIALS

Client Experience

I’ve been working with Dave for 18 months now and he quickly played an integral role in addressing challenges ranging from career to relationships to a recent death in the family. Dave’s ability to initiate self-discovery through open, natural conversation is truly unique based on my past counseling experiences. What’s more, his methodology of self-empowerment employs positivity and empathy rather than guilt or lecturing. No issue is too small to discuss or too large to tackle. I leave every session feeling better prepared to take on the obstacles, both internal and external, that previously kept me from leading the life I desired.

David F.

Finding a balance.

As part of the symbiotic relationship between anxiety and depression, a shape-shifting can occur where we confuse one for the other. This is the origin of some of the helplessness and lost-ness. Viewing depression and anxiety through this lens disarms them both.

Throughout this process, I will support you in balancing anxiety and depression’s influence, discovering the ways that anxiety might be helpful, and finding ways of discarding what’s unhelpful. One of our most powerful tools will be compassion: We’re all human, and it might take a moment for us to accomplish our goals, to realize our potential, and to act on our values. It is possible and I can help.

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